The countdown got fucked up
by HopeinaLovelessPlace
Summary: What happens when you mix a wristband that should countdown the time until you meet your soulmate and a Bella who believes the whole thing is a hoax? well this drabble fic. All the usual suspects and a few added spices! Enjoy, it's going to be a weird one.
1. Stage Left: Bella Swan

This is a drabble fic. There is no rhyme or reason to the updates. It could be 2 chapters it could be 30.

Enjoy the ride and happy holidays.

* * *

"You really don't want to know, Bells?"

Alice's annoying voice broke through the daydream of the cake that was now walking towards me.

Ok, the cake wasn't so much as walking towards me as it was being carried by a group of waiters with too-happy smiles. They were also singing a too-happy song.

My wine hadn't set in yet. I was a bit crabby.

_Well fuck them anyways._

_Amen sister. _

I was at a birthday dinner with my best friend Alice and her boy toy Xavier. He was some Latin deity or something I was sure of it.

_No one should look that perfect._

It was like a perpetual breeze always held his hair back in its style without use of gel or anything.

_Fucking perfect, fuck. _

Oh I guess I should introduce myself. My name is Bella Swan and I am celebrating my 25th birthday today. I was born September 13, 2013 to Renee and Charlie Swan in LA after some whim trip that my mother wanted to have. She didn't want to fly, not because she wasn't allowed to, being bigger than a cow, but because of some incessant fear of flying. Hence why she never visited when I went away for school.

_I'm not bitter. _

Anyways I am 25 today, so that would make the year 2038. Since I was born there have been about three 'apocalypse' scares, a cure for cancer has been found and sold over the counter at Walgreens for $20 bucks a pop.

_Not a figure of speech, the cure literally comes in a popsicle now._

Where was I? Oh cure for cancer, Spongebob is still on TV but it is rated PG-13 and Blue Ivy is on track for being the next president of the Free World.

_No, cars don't hover. What the fuck would be the point? I can't hover over other cars so I'd be in traffic above the ground where I can't even get out and curse like a sailor in the street? Next! _

Where was I? shit?

Right! I'm Bella Swan, well Isabella Swan, named after my mom's favorite aunt Issy.

_Good woman, always gave me $50. No reason for giving it to me, she just did. What if she was trying to pick me up? Well this is awkward. _

I'm 25 and I'm having dinner with Alice and Xavier.

_Say eggs-za-vi-er not za-vi-er. Annoys him to no end. _

The floating cake had now appeared in front of me and the idiots were still singing. I took my shot and blew on the candles hoping to create some massive flame ball like a dragon and burn them to a crisp for silence, but it didn't work.

_Motherfuckers_

Sorry, I tend to cuss a whole fucking lot. Not for any reason other than the fact that I can.

_Sue me._

When the one-fry-short-of-a-happy-meal group left, I turned to Alice who was chastising me for stabbing my finger down the middle of the cake.

"Really Bella," she said with a sour look on her face, "It's like you were grown in a barn."

"I prefer the term extraordinary outdoor area for talented mammals," I responded. "Barn sounds so barbaric."

She snorted but other than that there was silence at the table as I silently munched at my cake.

_Mmmm cake. _

_He want that cake, cake, cake, cake, cake, cake, cake, cake, cake, cake, cake, cake, cake, cake, cake. Oh, baby I like it you're so excited, don't try to hide it. Imma make you my bitch. _

I now had the urge to dye my hair bright red.

_I could do worse things. _

_Gotta love the oldies. Better than that shit on the airwaves nowadays. _

"So you seriously don't wanna know?" Alice piped up whilst I licked my fingers.

"Nope," I said with my middle finger caught between my teeth. I think it sounded like 'ope' so I shook my head for emphasis.

"Isabella," she looked at me and shook her head disapprovingly.

"Mary Alice!" I mocked her.

She hates that.

I looked at eggecutor, like the pokemon, signing with my eye my need for him to lodge his tongue down her throat or something but the idiot was to busy in his own thoughts to even recognize me looking at him.

_Self-centered ass. He's probably not even thinking about anything important. _

_I wonder was shampoo he use-_

"Isabella!"

_fuck._

"Sorry what was that, Ali?" I mean it's okay if I think-talk to myself. It'd be scary if I said all this shit out loud.

"I said, what if I told you I knew?"

"I know you know yours, Ali," I said "I was there when you found out and he ain't it." I looked at Enrique even though I had whispered the last part.

_I've taking to renaming Alice's boyfriends when I see fit. _

So I looked at David, _say dah-vid, not david. _And saw that he was still lost in his own thoughts.

Her sour face came back, just when she was getting pretty again.

"Your face is gonna get stuck like that."

"I wasn't talking about me, Bella," she ignored my comment. " I was talking about you."

My eyes must have bugged out of my head when she said that.

"How the fuck do you know, sprite?"

"Renee bought it for you for your birthday," she shrugged like it was no big deal.

"and you opened it you nymph?"

Meh. I wasn't angry per se, but whatever.

"Okay, let me see it."

I held out my name for the little wristband but she shook her head at me.

"Okay, so you don't want me to see it then?"

I was confused. I didn't like being confused.

"It's at the house."

"fuck that," I said through a snort. "I am not going home tonight because I am not going to your surprise party."

"There isn't one." She is the world's best poker player because of that face. I couldn't tell if she was lying or not. Enrique on the other hand was not and the confused look on his face must have meant he was told there was a party or he had been daydreaming for so long that he didn't know who Alice was.

I felt the smugness wrap around my face.

3 glasses of wine later I was walking into my house when a gazillion people screamed out 'Surprise'.

"A) It wasn't a surprise I just know no one better be in my room. B) I don't even know all you people and C) If all the cake is gone, I will kill you."

They laughed. I wasn't joking.

Alice approached me with 'the gift' in her hand, the gift that would more or less ruin my life.

_That was a bit mellow dramatic_

What if it said 'never'?

_I could buy a kitten. WIN! _

_Oh a tiny white one with thick fur I'd call it Seabiscuit. _

_Or a orange one wit-_

"Isabella, open it." Alice chimed.

As I looked around I noticed everyone had stopped and was staring at me, except Mike Newton. He was probably going to memorise the date and kidnap me then.

We met on October 3rd, 2021, in the fourth grade at 8 am. I had the date memorized because he constantly reminded me that when I got the wristband and the dates matched, there'd be proof that he was my soulmate.

_Lost? _

You see a few years ago, there was some witchy shit that happened and the result ended up to be the funky looking wristbands that had the date of when you would meet your soulmate.

Think of modern day Aphrodite becoming the President in 2020 and believing that the entire world just needed love. She aimed taxpayer's dollars to finding a way to get everyone a soul mate. They are activated on the 25th of everyone's birthday. Not very pricey only a close family member can purchase the band. That was her way of keeping families close.

Don't ask me why because I don't know but there hasn't been a band that was wrong yet.

I personally believe it's a mind over matter thing. Of course if you believe you're gonna fall in love then you will put yourself out there. There is no way you will get hurt, but I am still trying to work out how they ensure that two people with the same times are at the same place at that time.

_Burn the witch! _

"Could ya back the fuck up, please," I said to everyone.

My eyes locked onto a pair of unfamiliar green ones before everyone shifted and the greens were lost.

_Which reminds me, I need to make an appointment to go golfing with the big wigs sometime next week._

I looked at the clock, which read 11:27pm and then opened the box.

Looking up at me from the box was the date: September 14th, 2038 12 am.

_Well fuck._

* * *

_see you soon. _

_reviews make me write :) _


	2. Face-off

September 13, 2038 - 11:30 *inset law and order dun dun tone here*

* * *

I looked up from the wristband to the knowing smile of Alice.

_Bastard probably invited all these people to have some pseudo dating show. _

I don't know what emotion my face was showing but it wasn't matching the sprite's because the corners of her lips started to fall.

I bolted for my room before I saw the full frown

_fuck this! _

Right before I got to the first step I bounced against someone's hand and felt as whatever liquor soaked through my pant leg.

_Or maybe I peed myself. _

I didn't turn to face the person.

I didn't take a breath until my back was slammed against the dresser that I pushed in front of the door.

I looked down at the wristband in my hand watching as the seconds counted down destiny.

_destiny my ass. I'm staying in here you little imp. _I taunted in my mind.

_Well motherfucker, its just you and me and I am not going outside anytime soon so I hope you have that Harry Winston somewhere hidden. _

I looked around my room and made sure no one was with me before I stripped down to my underwear and snuggled into my covers, now ignoring the tiny knocks on my bedroom door.

* * *

_well, what says you? _


	3. REALITY' enter stage right

September 14, 2038 12:02am

* * *

After the last chime of the old grandfather clock Charlie gave me to add 'class', echoed through my tiny apartment the knocks on my door because less frantic and the words whispered with them became sad. It would have broken my heart if the little imp hadn't tried to trick me.

_what a load of bullshit. If that clock is right then my soulmate is this pillow. I mean we have swapped spit. _

I brought my hand up to wipe away some of the slobber that had run down my chin when I dozed off a few minutes ago.

_A wine buzz is an excellent sleep-aid, children._

I realized I was still holding the wristband and threw it against the dresser. It knocked over a frame and I guess fell behind it.

_Happy Birthday to you, Swan._

I turned over when I heard Alice lock the front door staring out my windows as my last few thoughts echoed in my head.

_Like I need a 'soulmate'. I will be perfectly happy with my cats and my best friends for the rest of my life. _

_Maybe when I'm 30 I'll adopt a kid. _

_Yeah, that sounds good. _

Then... then it hit me, hard and I flung myself upright in bed

_What the fuck did I just do?_

* * *

_That's probably it for tonight :) _


	4. aftermath without the slim shady

September 14, 2038 - 3 am

Wiping tears away from my face, all I could think is

_I'm going to die alone. _

And then everything would fade to black.

September 14, 2038 - 7 am

The depression had led to a prickling sadness over a while and now I just needed to pee.


	5. Acceptance? right?

September 14, 2038 - noon

* * *

"Bella, you have got to come out of there," the knocking had started a few hours ago. Since she saw me dash from the bathroom and slam my door shut.

_I know I should have gotten the apartment with the en suite, but fuck $2500 a month._

I turned up the Berlin on my laptop and continued my singing.

"watching in slow motion, as you turn to me and say 'TAKE MY BREATH AWAY'!"

Truth is, I honestly regret missing the fucking date and throwing it away and missing out on love.

I woke up this morning and I realized how much, even though I didn't acknowledge it, I thought about the day I would meet, the one.

He would like my snarky comments, meet me tit for tat. He'd love to cook and get that I liked to sing. He'd have my fascination for pets. He'd be a gentleman and He'd love me.

_We are not doing this, Bel._

I had a 'love' playlist on my Mac, for Christ's sake. I guess at the time I made it just so I could differentiate my songs, but I listened to it sometimes, when I would let the loneliness leak in.

How I managed to delude myself so much, I will never know.

I finally heard Alice's footsteps retreating. I turned down the Frank Ocean song, admittedly I updated the playlist a lot.

_That's gonna be stuck in my head for the rest of the day now. _

"Or do you not think so far, ahead?" I sung along, softly. "Cause I been thinking bout forever."

As I hummed along I peaked out the door. When I saw that the hallway was clear, I put on my best fakest smile and went down to the kitchen.

I took one look at Alice's face and broke.

"I'm going to be alone forever, Ali!"

We stood in the kitchen for a while, I honestly couldn't tell you for how long. After the gasping breaths stopped, we went out onto the front stoop and watched the sunset.

We sat there until the traces of purple faded to black and the streetlights had come on.

I was about to go in when I heard a ruckus, maybe something fell? Then two words being screamed by someone of the male variety.

"Mother, FUCK!"

When Ali and I opened the door we saw, what seemed to be, a tall man crouching over some boxes, stacking them.

_That won't work, young padawan. _

Sure enough, he tried and the boxes fell again. Although with this fall he turned to see me and Ali smothering our laughs against our hand and he turned the most adorable shade of red.

"Hey, Alice," he greeted the sprite, rubbing the back of his neck as he stood to his full height again, forgetting the boxes on the floor.

_poor boxes. _

"Edward, I didn't get to introduce you to my best friend, confidant and roommate, Bella Swan, Edward Masen," she responded.

"I can help you with those boxes?" she continued.

_Hi, Edward. _I mentally shrugged, she must really like this one.

"I can't let you do that," he responded.

"Edward, ever the sexist,"

The red returned, it seemed the imp knew how to twist this one already.

That's what Ali did, she figured you out and then she made you do her bidding, hence her nickname, imp.

"No, never, it's just a bit rude to ask you to help," he looked at Ali, who must have hit him mid-bicep and quickly changed his statement. "That would be amazing,"

She handed me a box and she took one while he carried two and we took the elevator up to his apartment on the fourth floor.

I would insert some snarky thought about never living above the first floor but I didn't feel it today.

When we got into his replica apartment to ours, he walked around a corner which would have led to our kitchen. We followed him, thikning the boxes were needed in there.

I stopped just as I crossed the threshold, the kitchen was decked-the fuck-out.

"I like cooking," he answered with the neck scratching and a red face. "Would you guys like a cup of coffee?"

Alice was already nodding when I answered.

"I think I'm just going to head to my room."

Alice had on her 'What are you doing' face and I responded with my best 'go play' face.

"It was nice meeting you, Edward," with that, I left.


	6. Life continues

September 15, 2038 - 2am

I laid in bed for hours, just watching the time change on the clock before Alice came home from 'Edward's'.

I heard the door shut across the hall but then reopen a few moments later. Because of the hallway lights, I could see Alice's shadow outside my bedroom door.

Ready to ignore any intrusion on the sleep I should have been getting I turned over when I saw the figure shift. When there wasn't a sound I turned to see her still standing there but not moving.

_Probably rethinking the whole telling your spinster best friend about you finding yet another play thing. My God, I'm a spinster. _

I heard as something clattered to the ground just at the corner of my door.

_That will be her 4th repair this month is she cracked the screen again. _

She squeaked when she saw the cracked screen, I guess.

_Well t'was good knowing you iPhone 29. Those things were just too damn thin. _

She retreated to her room after that, I didn't hear a sound from her or the phone for the rest of the night.

* * *

expect another tonight... :)


	7. Exactly what it may or may not seem like

September 15, 2038 - 8:21am

I had taken an extended break from work for my birthday but today, on this Wednesday, I chose to go back to work.

"I'm going to be late!" I ran into the kitchen taking the offered muffin and coffee, in the togo cup, from Alice.

_I'm not even going to contemplate how the pixie knew I was going to work today._

I screamed a quick bye to Alice before I left the apartment.

_I think I should go into this Master's thing that Alice was doing. _

She worked weekends at the bar around the corner from our apartment, but she was getting her master's in psychology right now.

As I exhaled in the elevator up to my office, I was aiming for the 'close door' button even though I heard the 'hold the door, please'

_So kill me, I'm a bitch. _

I missed and instead hit the 'open door' button.

That shit would happen wouldn't it.

_I don't even get why there is a 'open door' button. The doors have sensors, standing between them will keep it open._

__I saw a mass of crazy hair before I saw the face of the person. He offered a small smile and a thank you before turning forward and allowing the doors to close.

He didn't move to press another button for a corresponding floor, so I assumed he was on mine.

I didn't think much of my elevator buddy and he was nothing more than a memory as I high tailed it to my office.

"Angela, office, please."

She didn't skip a beat at my surprise visit.

"Be there in a second, boss," She answered. "Waiting for the replacement. There he is."

I didn't even bother to turn around, my mood was even more shitier because I forgot that Angela was moving to some suburb to have her perfect children with her perfect husband, Ben.

As I rested my briefcase on my desk the door opened behind me.

_Let's get this shit over with. _

__"Mr. Masen, this is Bella Swan." She introduced me to the man from the elevator, although he looked eerily familiar. "Bella, Mr. Masen."

Before I could really contemplate the name or the familiar face she continued. "Officially welcome to Swan Designs."

"Ms. Swan, it is a pleasure to finally meet you," he stuttered. "You are so much younger than I thought you would be."

You see, fresh out of college my dad, Charlie, I talked about him earlier, gave me some money to start my own business and even supplied a few of my first customers.

I went to college at 17 years old with a full scholarship and graduated at 20, a year early. He gave me the money he and mom had been saving me for college. I could insert my spiel on working hard, which I did, and earning my place in the biz, which I had working under Esme Masen. More than anything I needed it to be known that I hated comments on my age and at that moment I was adamant on firing the idiot but before I could open my mouth Angela spoke.

"Esme is very happy that her youngest was working here."

_Esme Masen owed me dammit! _

* * *

__who do you think it is?


	8. Because seven 8 nine

"Nice to meet you too, Mr. Masen," I responded, ignoring the offered hand to shake.

"Please, call me Jasper," he said. "or Jas, if you'd like."

"Jasper will work quite fine for now,"

The morning went by quickly. I sat at my table in an attempt to get caught up on all the clients I had neglected on my slight leave, before I knew it Ang was offering me a small wave as she left for the day.

When I closed my laptop for the day, the clock on my wall read 10:23pm.

_Guess it's time to go. _

When I was finally walking up the steps to the front door of my complex, my eyes could barely stay open.

_I should convince Alice to move to the nicer buildings, with a doorman, that could carry me. _

I knew she wouldn't go for it though. She was an independent girl and she'd never take my hand-outs.

I didn't realize that I had frozen with my key in my door until I heard someone clear their throat behind.

_Really, green. _

"Hey, Bella," the green eyes had a set of perfect pink lips that knew my name. But why does the perfect specimen know my name. _How do I know you? _

He quirked an eyebrow at me but otherwise didn't answer me.

"is Ali in?"

Well that knocked me out of any thoughts I was having of the specimen. It also allowed me to remember how I knew him.

"Um, yeah."

I turned back to the door and opened it. _What was his name? _

"Sit there," I said pointing to the living room,_ oh yeah 'Edward'_ "I will fetch your highness, Eric."

"It's Edward," he said with a small frown to the pink lips which I am naming Carlos and Jaime.

_say hImee. not Jaime. _

I have no rhyme or reason to my insanity, but it works.

"Yeah, okay."

I knocked on the munchkin's door and told her Ethan was here.

She gave me a small smile and went to him.

I emerged from my room after my shower.

"I'm taking these shorts, Ali," I called over my shoulder as I passed her and Ebenezer in the living room.

She didn't even respond.

_Must really like this one. Hmmm... still not going to call him Edward. _

At around 2 I finally heard her walk Eli to the door.

A flash of emerald popped into my head before I fell asleep.

_I could paint my room green right?_

* * *

_This story will be finished yet! :) _


End file.
